Osama's Beard

I wonder who trims Osama's beard, I think I would be scared to do it. What if you accidentally nicked his big long face with he tip of the scissors, I bet he smells like benny_andersons in the summer. I'd say his head gear has got old jizz stains and stuff on it, I wonder if I showed him a box of just for men would he be into that sort of thing, maybe he is gay, i've only ever seen him hanging out with men, if he was gay would he be more of a ricky martin kind of a lad or more of a perez hilton kind of a lad.....either way Osama you are a fucking cock sucker.

French Kiss

Is a French Kiss in France just a Kiss  ?

Dishwasher / Alcoholic

I was emptying the Dishwasher just now and it just struck me how much an alcoholic is like a dishwasher. It starts of empty and then gets feckin loaded until it's full to the hilt. Then its all cleaned out inside and does it all over again init.

American Idol Racist ?

After Paige Miles getting the boot last week on American Idol we are left with the top ten. Except for Big Mike and Andrew Garcia the top ten are all white. Also the judges are nearly all white except for Big Dog Randy Jackson. Does this mean American Idol is trying to become all white and are just scared to confront the big black man. I guess we will find out soon.

Irish Starbucks

First of all I think that the Starbucks size names are feckin STUPID......

Short
Tall
Grande
Venti

Wouldnt it be funny to have an Irish version of that.......

Wee (short)
Lanky (Tall)
Grand (Grande)
Vessel (Venti)

Starbucks Slave ... "what would you like sir"
Paddy.............. "Gimme the wee one, Sure I don't wanna be bustin for a piss all day do I"

Starbucks Slave... "How can I help you sir"
Paddy ............ "Gimme the lanky lookin one hey"

Starbucks Slave.. "how can I be of service"
Paddy ........... Gimme that one there, Jaysis that's a grand feckin size"

Starbucks Slave.. "what would you like sir"
Paddy............ "Ah Jaysis ya may gimme the Vessel there good lassie sure I was that full last night I got sick on meself and evertin"

Which Came First ?

The McChicken Sammage or The Egg McMuffin ?

Paddy TXT'ING

With all the different variations on words and phrases these days brought on by txting and new technology I feel it appropriate that a feckin Paddy version be made public.

For example - LOL = Laugh Out Loud
- LMAO = Laughing My Ass Off

So what about the Paddy Version

For example - IML = Is Maith Liomsa
- FOAD = Fuck Off And Die
- TWH = Terrible Wedder Hey
- LTBE = Lick The Back End
- DHNB = Do Her No Bother
- WH = Well Horse
- YOAR = Yer Ones A Ride
- MB = Meath Bastard
- CAT = Conas Ata Tu
- IFL = It's Fecking Lashin
- TIBH = Things Is Bad Hey
- DOR = Deloris O Riordan
- WYBIARYSB = Where Ya Born In A Field Ya Stupid Bastard
- YFOS = Yer Full Of Shite

These are just a few of the top of my head, pls feel free to email me at shanegorman13@gmail.com and I will be sure to put them on the blog. Now FOAD !!!!

The Laundramat

I have heard that the sale of blue jeans has risen in the last couple of months. This is a good thing as it shows people are gaining confidence in the economy and spending a little. It leaves me wondering, has Chinese Laundromat business sky rocketed since the fall of the economy as all the big Whigs must be shitting them selves on a regular basis.

Black Toilets

Why does it feel weird to dump in a black toilet ?

Colonoscopy

If somebody had to go for a colonoscopy and then failed to keep the appointment would it be true to say they couldn't be bothered their arse. Thanks to BIG HAMMER.

Things i wonder about ?

These are some things i wonder about ?

If your granny fell in the woods, does she make a sound ?

If a black man gets a black eye, do you call it an eye ?

If a China man went skying, would he tell his friends he hit the slopes ?

Would Ex President Bush have made a joke to his wife about her bush ?

If an Irish man was in the Bronx and said he was going out to smoke a fag, would the homies think he was going to shoot a homosexual ?

If a Pakistani was on floor trying to catch a mouse and you dropped a ham sandwich on his head wouldn't it be funny to say "here Hamid ya feckin egit, catch that mouse"

Would your computer explode if you Goggled Google ?

Why did St. Paul keep writing to the Corinthians if they never wrote back to them ?

What was the best thing before sliced bread, big sandwich's ?

If a Gypsy is tired would he say he's knackered ?

Where else would a bear shit, but the woods ?

Is it not racist to call a Blackbird a Blackbird seen as all the white birds have names like seagulls and Pelicans ?

If a Mexican can't do something is it OK to call him a Mexicant ?

If a Polish woman is pregnant is it OK to say she got poled ?

If a homeless man got on a bus, would he never know where to get off ?

If a China man was cold in the morning would he say "It's velly Nrippy" ?

If Lawrence Fishburne burnt a nice piece of cod wouldn't it be a shame ?

If a suicide bomber got knocked down by a car wouldn't it be funny ?

If Robert Plant got led poisoning, wouldn't it be mad ?

If the Massey is Classy is the Zetter really better ?

If there is grass on the pitch play ball, what if there aren't any goals. Then what ?

Even though some cows kick when attached to the milking machine, do they really love it ?

If the Kinks where from China would they have been called the Chinks ?

They are just some of the things i wonder about.