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Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Shites

Once upon a time on a miserable day in Ardee Community School there where three young lads that had enough of boring class's. The young wipper snappers had fancy ideas of the picturesque river side walk, no teachers, smoking fags ect.
Out of respect they will remain nameless. So early in the morning the three lads decided to meet down the river side walk and go mitching for the day.. Now mitching in Ardee isn't that exciting to say the least as there are feck all things to do and if you where so bold as to try roaming the main boulivard you surely would be caught by a teacher or by somebody who knew your mother, by the time you would get home you would be sure to face the Spanish Inquisition.
The river side walk is the local hangout for young up and coming upstarts which I too was one. It's kinda halfway house between the school and the town, perfect for mitching. It also is the entrance way to epic battles such as Ferdia vs Cuchulain and Bucko vs Darren Finlay ( a bit of Irish Folklore thrown in for good measure)Now the Riverside walk if you walk down threw the park you come to a broken wall that you can hop over and then you are home free for a day of mitching as there are only fields, cows, a river and the old sewage works.
Back to the three young lads, now the met up at the old broken wall and hopped across into the abyss that is river Dee and surrounding areas such as "The Mental Bridge". Only the strong can survive in this world of enchantment. With only a 10 pack of Carroll's between them, on they went laughing and messing as they thought of school was far from there minds, one thing that wasn't far from the minds was the urge to go for a shit which all three boys had in common at this time. As they approached the old sewage works one of the bright sparks decided it would be great craic for each of the three lads to take a dump at each corner of the sewage works at the same time. With only docking leaves by there side of they went as if to claim territory over the old sewage works. Each hunkered down and undid there pants and began to put the plan into effect. With a brave push and some powerful legs to hold the squat position they dropped the turds upon the ground as it where Pearl Harbour all over again. It was perfect, the boys met up again in fits of laughter and rejoiced at the pleasure and good time that where had so far that day, that was until they heard a voice shout at them." I know yis, yis little bastards" The lads scattered of down the fields being pursued by the mystery man, could it be a teacher, a Guard, one of there parents only time would tell as it was inevitable the lads would be caught. Each of the scoundrals dived head first into the long grass and lay in silence. The silence was to be broken by the sound of the pursuer saying " I know who yis are and your not in trouble" the boys looked at each other in a puzzled way only to hear the voice again (wait for it)
"I don't care what yis are at but THERE'S THREE FRESH SHITES HERE AND NOT ONE OF YIS ARE LEAVING UNTIL THERE PICKED UP". So like a couple of scolded dogs the three boys got up with there tails between there legs and had to go and pick up "The Three Fresh Shites". ( oh the irony of it, Picking up shit outside the sewage works..classic.
It turns out the mystery pursuer was a man that worked in the sewage works and he took the boys in for a look around a cup of tea. And that's it the lads got away Scot free and lived to see another day..Go on the lads !!!!!!
In cause you where wondering the three boys where

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