Elvis Was A Cow Lover

Not alot of people know that Elvis Presley spent his days as a young man in the town of Ardee herding cattle. Elvis lived a very typical childhood, he attended Ardee boys school where himself and Master Hennesy would regularly sing at assembly on Friday mornings. His love for singing equaled his love for the cow.
He would get up early before school at let the cows out from where he lived in Phillipstown and walk them all the way down to the sales yard in Ardee.
In fact Elvis's signature move developed from dodging the cow shite. As it would fall from the cows hole and splat on the ground, Elvis lunged forward developing his gyrating hips and the move where he would go up on his tippy toes.
As he would walk the cows, singing away and dodging the shite the Elvis we all know was born. The only problem was that after selling the cows he would stop of at the Hard Days Night for about five Cadillac burgers a day. He turned into a monstrosity and he died of a broken heart when he realised he was eating his own herd.