My Friend Skeeter

Most people that know me thought that all along I had moved away to New York, actually I moved to the depts of the Missisippi to live with long time Alligator wrastler Skeeter. I had met Skeeter on the Aer Lingus flight over and we hit it of as he was telling me the craic about the Missisippi. I said feck it and I went to live with him.
Our daily routine was getting up at 11.00 in the morning, thats when we would get stuck into our first case of Paps Blue Ribbon.(cheapest cans you can buy). After necking them we would get into the pickup, slaughtered drunk of we went to the liquer store for more swill and some grits boy.
Ah Skeeter did love them grits god love him.
Skeeter was about seven foot tall, three hundred pounds and ugly as sin. I remember as we would drive into town people would shout "yyyyeeeeehhhhaaaaaa there goes the skinny Irish guy and the big ugly bastard' and they would throw there hats in the air and stomp there feet.
It was quite the sight. Each day Skeeter wrastled Alligators for drink money and to try to earn the love of a skank called Lou Anne. She was very aggressive in manor and covered in tattoos, she would batter ya and also was ugly as sin to boot.
One day at the Gator Wrastling they brought out the biggest meanest gator we had ever seen. He was about one thousand pounds weight and about sixteen foot long. Skeeter didn't even flinch for he had a master plan. I had noticed that he had been chewing an unusually big mouthfull of tabaccy that day which seemed odd.
The match was ready to start and Skeeter hoped into the swamp almost stalking the gator. Then with a savage burst of energy like a sonic boom from Guile the gator lunged for Skeeter, Being so big and ugly Skeeter caught the gator in mid air and pinned the beast to the ground.Opening its mouth up with his bare hands he began to do the biggest spit I had ever seen in my life, It was so thick and brown that I thought it wasn't gonna fall from his mouth. When it fell it fell, right into the gators mouth. Skeeter then let the gators mouth snap shut for the last time. The spit was so strong it sealed the gators mouth shut, That's when Skeeter got around the beast and kicked the shite clean out of the gator winning the love of Lou Anne. That's when I decided I best move on to the Big Apple and leave the tramps to get on with there lives Paddy free. The picture above is the only proof of being there along with my memories that is.