Urinal Observations

For as long as I can remember going to the men's bathroom has always been funny to me.
It's funny because there are certain unspoken rules like you have to look forward for fear of being accused of cock watching, Limited small talk is accepted and it's also funny to me because it reminds me of a load of cows in a row eating out of a troff.
Whats funny to are the many styles that men use for the act of urinating.

The look at me, no hands - Two hands on the hips.
The little tea pot - One hand on beast and one hand on hip.
Your under arrest - Two hands on the wall.
The shuffle - When you need to go but it won't happen and you try to look busy.
The reversible grip - Self explanatory.

I was at the urinal one time and I started to chat to some auld fella and it turns out he knew where I lived in Ireland. When we had finished chatting he didn't wash his hands and then he put his hand out for a hand shake and I did it not to make him feel weird. I nearly got sick.